[This is the third and final installment of the story of how I had my identity stolen, came to know the thief, and finally hired him.]
Stan gets to see if he believes his own words
On November 6th, 2005, two years after Chuck was jailed for crimes related to theft of my identity and others, I opened my e-mail to the following message, in all caps:
“MR. SEWITCH, I’M NOT SURE IF YOU WILL REMEMBER ME OR NOT. MY NAME IS CHUCK AND I WAS ARRESTED A WHILE BACK FOR FRAUD CHARGES AND IDENTITY THEFT IN WHICH UNFORTUNATELY YOU WERE INVOLVED. I’D LIKE TO TAKE THIS CHANCE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR ANY INCONVIENENCES I MAY HAVE CAUSED YOU. AT THE POINT OF MY ARREST SIR, YOU MADE MENTION TO THE ARRESTING OFFICER THAT PERHAPS YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO MAKE ME AN OFFER FOR POSSIBLE EMPLOYMENT AND MAYBE EVEN AN EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITY. IF IT’S NOT TOO LATE SIR AND IF LUCK IS AT ALL ON MY SIDE, WELL THEN HOPEFULLY I’LL HEAR FROM YOU. THANK YOU.”
I sat slack-jawed for a few minutes. Then I wrote back:
“Chuck,
Of course I remember you. It took me four months to reconstruct my financial security and replace the personal documents you took.
When the Crime Victims’ Support officer asked me what restitution I would want from you, I said that you were obviously a smart, hard-working person, and that you had chosen the wrong career in which to apply your talents. I told her that I’d rather have you work for me for free for a year than see you behind bars.
I would consider helping you find work that could lead to a much better life than the one you have lived so far. It might include working for me, or it might be working for someone else. It might include training. I know a lot of good people in this county.
But for me to be able to help you, you will have to earn my trust. I hope you can appreciate that this is necessary, considering how you’ve acted in the past.
I will need some information to start…”
Chuck the apprentice
It wasn’t long before Stan replied. That’s how our friendship started. We e-mailed each other back and forth. He asked a lot of questions about me and my history and why I committed my crimes. After a couple of months, we decided to meet. We were both nervous about it, and for good reason. When I was in prison, I imagined the worst-case and best-case scenarios. The meeting turned out to be the best case. Over time, we slowly got to know one another, and our trust kept building.
In anger, I had started my life of crime at age 33. But becoming friends with Stan actually put a face on the scams and cons I was perpetrating. The victims of my crimes were nice people, just like Stan, and it made me realize how wrong I was. I feel some guilt whenever we’re together, and that’s good, because I should.
I have met some of Stan’s close friends and have created some ties with them as well. Out of the six or seven of his friends that I have met, Stan told only his wife and one other person (who has hired me for some projects) how Stan and I got to be acquainted.
Because of my crimes, I have had to start all over, but my life is more positive now than it’s ever been. I am growing more confident that I can truly be an asset to society. Stan keeps pointing out my talents as well as my faults. He has taught me that short cuts are not the way to do things and that I can believe in myself and my abilities. At 37 years old, I feel as though I’m 21 again, beginning my life. I feel very hopeful for my future.
I have two young daughters, seven and nine. They both know their father was in prison three times, for “using other people’s money”. And although I know they will always love me no matter what, I’m sure my incarceration was not something they liked to brag about. Now, because of Stan and me deciding to make a positive out of our prior relationship, my girls can read our story, published for the world to see. And they can know for themselves that even Dads can make mistakes, but that Dads can learn from their errors.
So Stan hired him
Chuck did market research for a product line that I had been working on for some years, related to martial arts training. He’s an adept student in business and, as expected, a very smart man. He’s pursuing a career in sales and marketing. Now it’s up to Chuck, to stay on the path he’s chosen.
What I’ve learned is that by moving towards my enemy, I have a chance make him my friend, and I have the choice to live a life of peace instead of anger and victimization. If I engage my attacker with an open heart, allowing him to change if he wants to, then I feel at peace. These are the concepts I study in my martial arts training, but have had few opportunities to apply them. Whether or not Chuck continues with his new life won’t affect the peace I’ve felt in establishing a relationship with him.
Epilogue
Chuck got started in concrete construction and sales. Moved to Seattle. Moved back to San Diego. Was arrested again for identity theft and possession of crystal meth. Jail time for another two years. Released. Arrested again. Is currently finishing the third incarceration. I have chosen not to stay connected to Chuck, because it’s not a high-odds investment of community service.
I got more out of the exchange than Chuck ever did trying to steal from me. I learned how to approach the fearsome, the dark side, and come out of it whole. That will help me keep my compassion in life, which is the secret to heaven on earth.