Please enjoy this wonderful guest article by Roxanne Casebier:
I experienced something incredible over the past decade of my life. I have grown a family, grown in my career and grown in my personal life as a wife, friend, daughter, neighbor and citizen of the world. Many painful and beautiful lessons learned have brought me to a poignant cuesta where I now observe a simple truth: I am my greatest influence. Forget about the supporters, the naysayers and everyone in between. It’s just me…and my strength to recognize and fend off the forward marching army of ANTS: automatic negative thoughts.
For the last two days I attended a finance training session for our sales team. My purpose for being there was to serve as an advisor and partner in the design and development of future learning efforts on the topic, not to participate as a learner. I sat at the “observer” table designated for invited guests. As the training facilitator made their way around the room asking questions and encouraging input on the group presentations, they came to my table and said, “Well, you’re just observers, but what do you think,” asking us to offer a response to the last group’s finance presentation. I froze, and hoped for someone at my table to take the mic. After all, I’m not good with numbers, and I really don’t understand the finance models and formulas they all learned and practiced presenting. I’m just an observer.
Thankfully, someone from my table had a smart response. We were off the hook. But I felt like a shmuck. I had been paying attention, and could have offered a relevant response too, but I didn’t. Now realizing that we were fair game for being called on, I began to pay closer attention to the presentations in case we got called on again. As I began to formulate my own responses to questions asked of others, I realized that my answers were on par with the group at large. I had a question I didn’t ask, but when someone else did, the facilitator remarked how insightful it was. I had an observation I kept to myself, which the facilitator called out to the group as a “missed perspective.” Clearly, I’m not a dunce, but I sure felt like one, and didn’t do anything to appear otherwise.
For years, I have told myself that I’m not good with numbers, that me and math don’t get along, and a number of other stories along that line. The ANTS are alive and well. But faced with a chance to confront my own false beliefs, I didn’t. Why not? If I am my greatest influence, why not be a positive one? I left the training realizing I have allowed ANTS free room and board in a tight real estate market: my own mind. I have given my power to the ANTS. With so many important things competing for my attention these days, I am reminded of the need to take my thoughts captive, scrutinize each one, question why I believe them, and get busy stamping out the damn ANTS, one at a time.
What ANTS are you battling today? How are they holding you back from seeing, believing and being the best version of yourself? What is your extermination strategy? How can you become your own greatest influence?